When the Heartache Ends
by Dimitri A
Summary: Distractions: Wally offers to distract John after Shayera leaves, in his own unique way. Secrets version two: Sometimes John wonders if anyone remembers him. [Slash, GLFlash]


When the Heartache Ends

Author: Dimitri Aidan

Fandom: Justice League

Pairings: Wally/John

Notes: My first Justice League story, now with added content and a whole new drabble thing that leads up to the original story. Maybe some actual editing…it's like midnight, I can't promise anything. Lesse', it was based around spoilers/rumors for the second season finale, but in the long run was totally inaccurate and so was tweaked slightly. Not much though… I'm lazy.

Warnings: Angst, a little slut-ish behavior by Wally, Slash, Angst, gratuitous use of italics…oh, and Angst.

Series: Prequel to 3x5 Index Cards and Rumors, aka the 'One(s) where Wally and John get together'.

Summery: Distractions: Wally offers to distract John after Shayera leaves, in his own unique way. Secrets: Sometimes John wonders if anyone remembers him.

Inspired (most recently) by: When the Heartache ends, by Rob Thomas.

'But it's alright  
Why don't you tell me again  
How you'll still be there  
When the heartache ends  
It's alright  
Why don't you tell me my friend  
How you'll still be there  
When the heartache ends  
There ain't nobody who can show you how  
To find the surface when you're underground  
There ain't no blanket that can hide this cold  
There ain't no memory  
That ever gets old  
And I move all directions  
To the corners and the outskirts  
While the lovers and the lonely  
Start to whisper all about me  
And if I stand here silent  
I almost start to feel you fading in  
Telling me hold on  
Cuz it's gonna be alright'

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Distractions

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Flash was, at times, surprising.

John stood at the edge of Wayne Manor, watching the sky that she had long ago vanished into with a strange kind of weight lifted from the pit of his stomach. He knew he should have been something other than relieved but that's exactly what he was.

She'd known that though, had willingly left the League because she didn't want to make them decide. They wouldn't be able to look back on their decisions with doubts now and wonder if they'd let friendship or anger cloud their judgment. It didn't matter what they had decided, because she had already done it for them.

He had voted in her favor of course but even as he'd made his choice he'd wondered if his feelings for her were what provoked it. If Superman had been the one to betray them, or Wonder Woman or J'onn or Batman, would he had been so quick to forgive? He really couldn't say…it was just so easy to forgive her. Easy like it was easy to talk to her, admire her, to fall in love with her, and let her go.

Engaged. That had hurt a bit, in all honesty. Not for the reasons most people suspected, but because it meant that whatever she had felt for him wasn't apart of her assignment and it would have been so much easier to accept. Go to Earth, get as close to its protectors as possible…if that had been her job he could have let it go, but he doubted that her commanding officer had approved that aspect of the mission.

He wished he'd been tricked, had his emotions warped and twisted by this manipulative woman and that it had nothing to do with an actual attraction and connection between them.

"GL?" John let his eyes slide to the side to see Flash standing next to him, cowl pushed down to show off a pale freckled face and sparkling blue-green eyes. "You okay?"

He was silent for a moment, considering then looked at the younger man again. "You?"

Flash's eyes widened slightly, as if he hadn't been expecting that questions. "Um. Yeah, I guess. I mean…she wasn't my girl or anything."

"She wasn't anyone's 'girl'." John's lips twitched. "She was your friend though."

Flash had been almost as close to Shayera as John was, in a platonic sense. Where she had liked Wally instantly the redhead had grown on John, like mold or a flesh eating virus, but in the end he was easily one of John's best friends, just as he was hers.

He'd voted in her favor without hesitation and John knew that her leaving had to be clawing at him. It was one of Flash's faults, he felt things that the others had long since learned to shut out. It wasn't that he was naïve or hadn't been at it as long; John knew he had close to a decade between Kid Flash and Flash under his belt. That was just who he was: Open, honest, blunt to the point of rudeness, and always entirely too deep in what he did.

John liked that.

Flash shrugged, arms wrapping around himself as he shifted from foot to foot nervously. "Yeah."

John nodded and looked back out at the water. "I'm fine. She made her decision and I can't hold that against her."

"You looked like you were thinking really hard." Wally pitched his voice somewhere between concerned and accusing. "You hate over thinking things."

He had a point. John liked to keep things simple. "There isn't much else to think about. Not until the next person tries to take over at least."

Flash was silent for such a long moment that John almost thought he hadn't heard or had gotten sidetracked by something shiny. Then, quietly, he spoke again.

"I've been told I'm a decent distraction."

The way he said it left no mistake as to what he meant, voice a low raspy whisper that John thought shouldn't have been half as…_intriguing_ as it was, because really? Flash? Seducing someone, let alone him? Laughable. Having a voice that could be called 'sexy'? Borderline hysterical.

Beyond that this was the part when John told him to stop screwing around or rather that he wasn't interested in screwing around or wasn't particularly interested in men, least of all someone as hyperactive and insane as Flash tended to be, that it was too soon or, and here was John's personal favorite, that he was old enough to be the kid's _father_.

Though some very evil and perverted part of John's mind that he liked to deny existed snarked that maybe Flash was into that sort of thing. He shuddered mentally and ignored it.

Every single one of those reasons, and a handful more, were brilliant responses and any of them would have worked. Either he was to use one of them or this was where Flash cracked a smile and told John he was joking and to relax, then offered to go out for a beer or something along those lines.

But he didn't say anything and neither did Flash, something very strange and rare indeed, and in the end he just arched an eyebrow. Flash offered a slightly impish grin and John rubbed the bridge of his nose then shrugged.

"Whatever kid. Distract away."

There was a pause where Flash blinked and then he was leaning up while tugging John down to close the small difference in their heights. John gained a new piece of knowledge at that moment; Flash kissed like he did everything else. Fast and hard with no real hesitation and John was sure he was putting everything he had into it.

It seemed wrong to just let Flash do all the work so he kissed back, trying to match the younger man's enthusiasm as one hand found itself on the small of Flash's back and the other in the reddish-blond hair. Flash's lips parted under his own and John figured there were certainly worst things.

Flash broke away first, drawing in deep breathes while his tongue soothed over slightly puffy lips. He smiled again, a little shier this time. "So. You can…uh, just call me Wally now."

John let strands of red twist around his fingers, struck for a moment by how very different it was from Shayera's and how he was kind of glad of that, and smirked.

"I'll think about it."

Wally muttered something that sounded like asshole and John laughed before leaning in again.

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Secrets

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One of the things John can't help but wonder about, from time to time when he can't stop from wondering, is 'What if?'. What if he hadn't been chosen to be a Lantern, what if he hadn't left Earth all of those years ago…what would have happened to him? Would he have met a nice girl, from his old neighborhood maybe, and had a few brats?

Would he have done some more military work? Maybe joined the police force, an idea he'd entertained once, in what often seemed like another lifetime. Would he just have a normal nine-to-five where he did nothing spectacular, never was threatened by evil beings from all over the universe, and never gave a thought to doing anything beyond what he did or trying to save the world. Would he be content to sit back and leave it to the superheroes like the rest of the world?

He doesn't dwell on it much, or at least he makes a valiant effort on not over thinking it when he can help it. Not because he isn't a dweller, which he isn't really because over thinking things turns you into Batman or Superman, but because he finds the idea of never caring to be a touch on the disturbing side. He likes being Green Lantern, he likes protecting people…

Kind of.

Sometimes he really feels like he should be allowed to take a very long vacation and not worry about people trying to kill him or take of the world or blow up the world or various other things 'superheroes' are forced to worry about day in and day out.

John thinks it'd be nice to worry about what's on TV, what's in his fridge, and what exactly he plans to do about the hyperactive twenty-something year old currently sleeping in his bed.

Well, actually, he knew exactly what he wants to with the kid in his bed, but somehow he thinks that it'd be fairly inappropriate to wake him up in order to bring the subject up. John can't be sure, never having been an expert in social things, but he was pretty sure.

…Or, at least, he's pretty sure waking someone up because you wanted to fuck one of your best friend's into oblivion (again. Wally proved to be a very good distraction when he was so inclined) when one of your other friends has betrayed you is inappropriate. He can't be sure, and he really doesn't know whom you'd ask about that sort of thing.

It was strange in a way. Hawkgirl had sold them out for the sake of her people, he was pretty sure he was supposed to be heartbroken, yet all he could do was sit in a chair and watch Flash sleep. Dressed only in a pair of John's sweatpants and stretched out all over the bed, pale white skin seeming to go on forever, peaceful in spite of what faced them in the morning.

There was no way in hell he was going to sleep anytime soon, because he couldn't get the image of her people descending from the sky, one line after another, like avenging angels…or, perhaps, angry demons would be more accurate. He couldn't shake the fact that…she had them.

Or had had them. She'd chosen Earth, the League, over her people.

She had her people. People who remembered her…wanted her, for something other than the fact she was Hawkgirl. They wanted the woman underneath that…and it seemed sick to him, that he couldn't really hate her for wanting that. For wanting them back…

He had never been mad, except maybe about taking his ring.

How could he begrudge someone a sense of belonging…when sometimes that was all he wanted himself?

Very few people remembered John Stewart, and even less gave a goddamn about him. Sure, Coast City loved him, it was a Lantern thing. Detroit loved Green Lantern; the face of 'Justice' who seemed to stand out among all of the other heroes, the guy they could truly believe was out for them.

But not a one knew he was the hometown hero, born and breed not five blocks from where his apartment was now…

It was to be expected in a way. He's been gone so long…why should anyone really remember him? And yet it wasn't…easy, because of that. The people he'd gone to school with, the people he'd grown up with, the people he'd served with, the girls he'd thought himself to be in love with…so few could even recall him, and in one form or another, it kind of hurt.

Had he been such an expendable fixture in their lives?

Had John Stewart really vanished the moment he left this planet?

He looked around his living. Wally had called it 'hospital chic', which he was pretty sure referred to the bare bones way it was set up. Just the things he needed, all in perfect and neat order. Nothing to give away about him…no pictures, no clothes in visible site, no paperwork of any sort, of course…

He had nothing to put in here. No one would believe someone actually lived in this place, yet he did…day in and day out, this was what he came back to.

The others, they had…other things. Superman had his family, his pretty little wife, and friends. People who knew him beyond than giant S painted on his chest. Diana had her home…maybe she couldn't go back, but she knew she had it, and she knew they remembered her.

Batman, cold bastard that he was, even had the Bat family. Batgirl, Robin, and Nightwing…

Hell, he had less of a life than Batman. That was just scary. At least J'onn had an excuse, his entire race had been blown up, there was no one left to think of him…What did he have?

Nightmares about being so forgotten he was no longer one of them…no longer human. After all, if no one could remember John Stewart, and only knew Green Lantern, what he else could he be except the Green Lantern? Maybe John Stewart was just a lingering product of his imagination.

Perhaps all he was…was this.

He did have this annoying tendency to glow green after all.

If he died, would anyone mourn John? Would anyone even know? Would he even get three lines in the paper, or would it all be about Detroit's superhero…

He sighed and tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling fan and

Sometimes he hated Green Lantern.

Which he was sure was unhealthy. Almost insane, to hate a part of himself so much that he didn't even acknowledge it as part of himself. His hate for Green Lantern wasn't hate for himself in any sense; it was hate for this…life.

For the world that so readily forgot him and replaced his image with someone else.

For the way Green Lantern had so completely swallowed, beaten, and overshadowed who he was, assuming he was even who he was once.

"Why are you awake?" Wally's voice was thick with sleep, yet also managed to be very inviting. He looked down at the other man, who blinked then scowled. "Are you thinking?"

He smiled. "Yes Wally, I'm thinking. I know the concept is a hard one for you to grasp-"

"It's three in the goddamn morning GL."

GL. Even his friend, arguably his best friend and now something…else, thought of him in terms of the Lantern. He couldn't even brood properly without Lantern in the room.

…Or maybe he was just losing it. Probably…he was almost positive all hero's lost it eventually.

"Yes." He found himself agreeing, though with Wally or himself he wasn't sure. He decided, after a beat, that he was agreeing with Wally.

It was indeed three in the morning; it was nice to know he wasn't friends with a total moron. (Then again, he couldn't help but recall the Military Time incident from the first time Wally had been to his apartment. "How is it 14 o'clock? That doesn't make any sense.")

"You should be in the bed." When John didn't move Wally sighed and rolled over, pulling the sheet over his head. He seemed determined to not let John ruin what little rest he would be getting tonight.

John chuckled. A few wisps of red hair were visible and the sheet clung to Wally, making the plane of his back clear to John. For a few moments there was nothing and John thought perhaps the other man had gone to sleep.

Then, shooting a baleful look at him, Wally rolled onto his stomach and stared at him. "What're you thinking about?"

"If we die."

Wally rolled his eyes. "You're about as optimistic as Batman, you know that?"

"I don't mean now, I mean eventually." John said, dismissing the comment. "Do you think anyone would care if I died?"

"You mean other than the entire world?" Flash asked flippantly. John just nodded.

"Yeah."

Wally was silent, so silent that John wondered if he'd heard him or was just contemplating his sanity when, finally, the younger man was standing in front of him, pale blue eyes more serious than he'd seen…ever.

"John."

"Hmm?"

"I'm here."

"I've noticed."

An impatient sigh, then Wally leaned into him and his lips brushed over his own lightly, softer with more meaning than the heated kisses they'd shared thus far.

Which was surprising in a way, but completely expected in another.

"John."

He arched an eyebrow. "That is indeed my name."

"I know." Wally smiled.

He had to blink, because this was an utterly profound moment where Wally was concerned, since he'd never thought Wally could spell profound, let alone be profound. Not that he thought Wally was stupid, just easily distracted.

Which may have explained why he'd had to cram his answer into two words…

Then he nodded. "Okay."

Okay.

If he died tomorrow he could trust that, at the very least, Wally might care more about John than he did about Lantern.

He was pretty sure he could, at the very least, sleep with that thought in mind. Or, considering how close Wally was to him at the moment, he could easily do something else.


End file.
